I don't know what's come over me. I feel so depressed right now. Our group manager just mentioned that he was tranferring to another department. What that means for me, I am unsure. Earlier today when I was walking over to a co-workers cube to talk about our usual Beer:30 event on Friday afternoon, I saw him looking at porn. This isn't the first time I've seen this either. Not a big deal, but I think he's pretty ballsy to do that while working (of course I am blogging right now...).

My motivation is sapped, but then it always is. Even though I have a good boss and nice co-workers, I feel so apathetic about work. Seems like I spend most of my day looking to see how much money I have in savings, what graduate programs in film are available. I have also been pricing expensive 3 CCD DV cameras and new iMacs. If I wanted to go freelance, this probably isn't the time with my current electronics wish list. Of course, stuff never makes me happy either. The one thing I've been enjoying a lot lately has been my film class. Whether it's viable as a profession I don't know. But I got the love, I think. While it is intricate, I doesn't demand the isolation and absolute concentration that writing requires. I think that video and film would be a better albeit more expensive medium to work with.

But back from the film reverie, I just feel depressed about work and where my life feels like it's going no where. Don't get me wrong. I have a good job. It pays well, they treat me well. This is quite a rarity. How can I make the best of this situation? Or should I go out on a limb and try something new?

Later,

Scherzkecks

Six weeks since my last blog.

In that time I have travelled to San Francisco. Where I was assualted by a homeless person in the Haight less than two hours after arriving. I guess you've probably heard all the superlatives before. The amazingly beautiful city of SF with calve enhancing hills, fat-free good food, and those weird electric trolley buses. Another day we went to see CapeCod in the East Bay. Emerging from the Bay Bridge into Oakland causes a passage into the real (at least modern, auto-centric America) world. Though I had been hella (I was trying to use some of the Californian lingo. albeit SoCal) digging on SF, I breathed a bit easier in Oakland. Freeways, sprawl, and McDonald's had entered the landscape again.